Category Archives: short fiction

“Blaming Bloman”

Free short story time! Here’s “Blaming Bloman,” which was first published in the premiere issue of Beyond Imagination Digital Literary Magazine (it’s permanently free on Amazon, FYI). This story was adapted from a short play I wrote in college, “Blaming Beckett,” which technically can never be performed (but that didn’t stop us in college).

Copyright 2014 Daniel R. Sherrier

“Blaming Bloman”

By Daniel Sherrier

The stage directions were clear.

Bathe the minimalist set in pink lights. Position character ‘A’ in a garbage can. ‘A’ must stand in the receptacle and raise her left arm at an eighty-point-four degree angle. The garbage can will be gray, will not exceed one-point-zero-three meters in height, and will under no circumstances surpass one-point-ninety-seven meters in circumference.

Position character ‘B’ upside-down in a second garbage can of identical dimensions, situated zero-point-two meters stage-right of ‘A’ and not one decimeter further. His legs will point forty-five degrees in opposite directions, forming a V.

‘A’ will face character ‘C,’ who will stand two-point-seven meters stage-left of ‘A’ and behind a branch measuring one-point-two meters in length. The branch must have two leaves still attached. No garbage can, but it is absolutely imperative that he wear a brown paper bag over his face. ‘C’ is not to breathe.

H. Bartholomew Bloman decreed all this and more in his latest masterpiece, “Shrug: A Play in One Act?”

The cast and crew followed the script to the greatest extent possible while staging the show’s world premiere at an off-Broadway establishment. Several states off. Three would-be accomplished actors now gave life to ‘A,’ ‘B,’ and ‘C’ on a creaky proscenium stage before an audience numbering in the tens. Lower tens. The box office sold twenty-seven tickets, and twenty-one patrons showed up for the eight o’clock curtain. Continue reading

Beyond Imagination — a FREE digital literary magazine

Beyond Imagination, a new digital literary magazine, has launched. You can download the first issue for FREE at Smashwords and other fine online retailers.

The first issue includes one of my short stories, “Blaming Bloman,” a satire about a pretentious play.

Unlike most of my work, this story does have some profanity, but not nearly as much as a Kevin Smith movie.

At least eighteen other authors have contributed to this magazine, so please take a look and enjoy!

“The Play About Homecoming”

In the spirit of Throwback Thursday, I present the first play I ever wrote. I was 17, and it’s an exaggeration of actual events.

Please do not use without permission. Any school interested in this ridiculous show should contact me.

“The Play About Homecoming”

By Daniel Sherrier

Characters:

Natalie, Corrie, Virginia, Dick, Billy, Sid

(Natalie, Corrie, and Virginia are standing downstage, looking out to the audience as they pantomime getting made-up.  They put make-up on, do their hair, etc.)

Corrie:                   This is going to be interesting…

Natalie:                  So, Corrie, your date’s really 22?

Corrie:                   Huh-uh.

Natalie:                  And he asked you to Homecoming?

Corrie:                   Yep.  I guess when Virginia mentioned I didn’t have a date he felt bad and decided to be nice.  It would be better if I actually knew the guy though…

Natalie:                  Is that even legal?

Virginia:                Don’t worry.  Billy seems all right.  At work, he’s always really nice to me.

Natalie :                 And what about your date?  He’s from your work, too, right?  How old is he?

Virginia:                Oh, Sid’s our age, but, uh, he is an…unusual person.

Corrie:                   Unusual?

Virginia:                You’ll see when you meet him.  To be honest I didn’t really want to go with him.  I mean, I’ve only known him a couple of days, but it was him or no one.  Besides, I couldn’t turn him down.

Corrie:                   Last resort dates are so much fun!  At least Natalie knows Dick.

Natalie:                  Yeah, that’s one guy we all know.

Virginia:                Oh, it’ll all be fine.  This has to be better than going by ourselves.

(Lights dim.  When the lights return, the couples are seated at a table.  Everyone is dressed-up nicely, except for Sid, who wears extremely bright, tacky, multi-colored clothing.  Stage right of the table is the women’s restroom, and stage left is the men’s restroom.  Restrooms are represented by simple signs; no sets for restrooms are necessary.  At the table, there is awkward silence for a few moments.)

Corrie:                   So…

Sid:                        So…

Virginia:                So…?

Billy:                     So…This is everyone’s senior Homecoming, heh?  I remember mine.  I was the star football player, and I almost single-handedly won the big game. Continue reading

“That Darn Castle!”

Here’s another old writing exercise, a short script I wrote in a playwriting class at William & Mary about ten years ago. And I’m just now realizing I’ve written plays more than a decade ago. Oh my.

Anyway, this is just a silly romp that was never intended to be performed. But it is silly and might just fulfill your recommended daily value of silliness.

Song lyrics are not mine, which should be quite obvious.

“That Darn Castle!”

By Daniel Sherrier

Characters:

King Gallagherwithers

knights1, 2, 3, & 4

a castle

 

(King Gallagherwithers stands in the middle of a mostly barren stage.  Knight1 enters with a sense of urgency.)

King:                Ho, good knight, how goes the construction?

knight1:           By George, sir, the castle has stolen the instruction manual!  And it won’t return it until after we’ve repainted it!

King:                How the bloody hell is the castle making demands?

knight1:           By telling them to us, sir!

King:                How the bloody hell is the castle telling them to us?

knight1:          With its mouth, sir!

King:               How the bloody hell does the castle have a mouth?

knight1:          We built one into it, sir!

King:               And why the bloody hell did we build a mouth into a castle?

knight1:          The instruction manual said so, sir!

King:                Let me see that instruction manual!

knight1:          The castle has it, sir!

King:               Oh, yes, that’s right. Bloody hell! Continue reading

“Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow”

A long time ago, in a high school far, far away from many of you…this was published in a literary magazine…

“Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow”

By Daniel Sherrier

“But…what if we never see each other again?” She was near tears.

“It’s a risk we’ll have to take,” he replied, trying his best to sound confident and sincere. “We need this time apart from one another. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“For you, my heart can grow no fonder.”

They embraced. “We must do this!”

“I don’t know if I can!”

“Listen to me! This is for our own good!”

She considered it for a moment. “All—all right.” They were still hugging. “You let go first.”

“No, please. I insist.”

“How about on the count of three?”

They both began counting. “One…two…three…”

Slowly, they began to separate, but they soon discovered they could not bring themselves to do so. Like an over-stretched rubber band, they snapped back together.

“I can’t do it!” she sobbed.

“Nor can I, my love…but—but we must! Do it for me, please.”

“O—okay.”

Even more gradually than before, the couple began to push apart from one another. Eventually, they were just holding hands.

“Be strong,” he said.

“I—I will.”

They let go of each other and began to walk in opposite directions.

“Good-bye, my love!” she yelled.

“Good-bye, my darling!” he called out.

He went off to lunch, and she went to her next class.

“Strange New World”

My website needs some flash fiction. Yes, from time to time, I’ll put up a wee short story, and I’ll start with my first published science fiction story. Okay, so it was published in my high school litmag when I was 16 or 17, but still…

“Strange New World”

By Daniel Sherrier

Nice planet.

I’ll admit, it’s kind of barren, but the temperature’s just perfect, and it has this very peaceful aura to it. Just looking out at the vast, empty tract of desert just makes a person feel at ease, as if all is right and nothing could ever go wrong.

A whistling sound then makes its way to my ear. It’s a nice sound, and it gets louder, which is fine by me. I find it very relaxing.

Something miraculous then occurs. From out of the dry ground pops up a group of five short, stubby entities. Natives! How delightful.

“Greetings,” I tell them. “I come in peace!”

One of the natives cautiously walks towards me. He reaches up to grab my hand, and then he pulls me to the desert floor. It must be some kind of welcoming ritual, symbolizing my introduction to their land. Continue reading

“Wings” — a RIP Christmas story

Merry Christmas and happy holidays! I realized, in all my years of writing fiction, I had never written a Christmas story. I’ve rectified that situation. So, here’s a Christmas story that also serves as a prequel to RIP: Choices After Death.

Text is copyright 2013 Daniel R. Sherrier. If you like it, however, please feel free to share the link.

Hope you enjoy…

“Wings”

A RIP short story

By Daniel Sherrier

Serissa pulled herself out of the ground again.

This time, she emerged in a shopping center plaza after dark. Yet it wasn’t dark, not with that looming Christmas tree.

Was it that time of year already? Did it have to be? She had never been dead during the holidays. At least she missed Thanksgiving…

The plaza was busy. Pedestrians stopped to stare at the decorations, despite the oversized shopping bags they juggled. Couples sat on the benches and cuddled while basking in the lights. Kids ran around like little crazy people. Either the tree was a recent arrival, or these people had never seen one before. Continue reading